This all started with an e-mail?
by Spidersong13
Summary: The Baltics are tired of being abused by Russia, so they decide to go on a little vacation. To do this, they send three girls to their universe to take their place. Russia better watch out, because these girls are weirder that anyone he's ever known! Rated T for unpredictable, perverted girls.
1. Chapter 1

"_Estonia, you're a genius!"_

"_We might be able to take a vacation if this plan works!"_

"_Wait…we're putting three innocent mortals in our place?"_

"_Well, yes, but I have been looking through these three's online records, and it shows they are just the right people. There's just one problem."_

"_What's that?"_

"_Two of them have sadistic streaks to rival Russia's. The third seems to be a lot like…France."_

"_So innocent may be the wrong word."_

"_Pretty much."_

Autumn's POV

I can't believe this all started with an e-mail. I mean seriously, why an e-mail? A much cooler way to start off a bunch of stuff about switching places with people in a different universe would be, like, a bottle of glowing blue stuff, or maybe an old mirror. Yeah, an old mirror, with a rusting metal handle, so rusted you can barely make out the mystic runes carved on it. However, as cool as that would be, it all started with an e-mail.

So, I was at my house, trying to get this computer program I was writing to work, when the phone rang. I expected it to be for my mom; after all, no one would call me. I'm Autumn Summers, geek extraordinaire, after all. However, I was wrong.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Autumn! Hey! So, get anything cool for Christmas?" greeted my friend Tempest. Calling me was kind of stupid, considering we lived in the same freaking neighborhood. Oh well.

"Well, I got an awesome cookbook. Watch out world, everyone will get fat," I replied. I may be a geek, but cupcakes transcend labels, okay?

"I got this weird e-mail. It says I'll be transported to the world of Hetalia," Tempest interrupted.

"Who sent it? Pedobear ?" I joked.

"Actually, it's from someone named Eduard von Bock," Tempest replied. I swore I knew that name from somewhere. Crap.

"Okay…that's strange." I decided to check my own e-mail to see if Akuma had replied to the video I sent her. Funny thing was I got the same e-mail. This was getting beyond freaky.

"You still here?" Tempest asked. Crap. I forgot I was still on the phone.

"Yeah, and I got the exact same e-mail too. It also says this Eduard dude sent this e-mail to Akuma," I said. I called Akuma, and after a few random buttons were pressed, and cursing on Tempest's part, we got the conference call working.

"So, we all got the same creepy e-mail," Akuma summarized.

"Yup, pretty much," I said.

"Tempest, am I seriously right about something? I think I'm actual—WHAT THE FUUU" And then there was nothing. Just silence.

"Well, that was odd, even for Akuma," Tempest remarked. I opened my mouth to say something, but flashing colors overwhelmed my vision. I screamed something, but I can't remember what. After about a millisecond, I passed out.

Tempest's POV

"Ohmygod, I think I'm dying," Autumn said, then she hung up.

"Well played, guys, I know this is some sort of prank," I remarked. Part of me, however, half-wished it wasn't. I mean, this was like a detective story! I, Tempest Anderson, would be in a real-life detective story! Don't tell me you've never secretly wished you could be a detective. I continued to ponder detectives and mysteries for a while, when blobs of color stated blocking my vision. I tried to blink them away, but more came. It felt like I was falling through the ground, closer and closer to the center of the earth. Somewhere along the line I passed out, and I woke up in a large, cold house. I saw Akuma and Autumn lying beside me, but they were beginning to stir too. I noticed three men standing in the room too, and they seemed strangely familiar. One turned to us, and smiled.

"Greetings, girls. My name is Eduard von Bock, but you may call me Estonia."

**A/N: LOL this sucks. It gets better later, so bear with me, k?**


	2. Meet the Baltics

**This sucks more than the first chapter. BTW quite a bit of the jokes were made by telling my friends about this. Tempest thought of the part where Poland and Russia come in, which is the only part that doesn't suck. .-.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia. .-. .-. .-. .-.**

Lithuania's POV

When I first saw the girls Estonia selected my first thought was "there must be a mistake here". These girls mere maybe fourteen or fifteen, and were all fairly short. The first one to get up was the tallest. She wore a brown tank top and a pink miniskirt. Her long brown hair had a small Italy-like curl sticking out. She introduced herself as Tempest. The second one wore a T-shirt that said "Got Art?" and beige cargo pants. Her hair was tied back in a ponytail with a long piece of hair that had fallen out. Judging from her glasses, I guessed she was Estonia's replacement. The third girl, while short, looked fierce. She wore a leather jacket over a Fullmetal Alchemist T-shirt and jeans. Her cat-like eyes narrowed as she scanned the room, looking for something to kill.

After Estonia introduced himself, he let us handle the rest, "Tempest, you will be replacing Lithuania for a while, okay? The man with the long brown hair is Lithuania. He will show you around. Akuma, go with Latvia. Autumn, you will come with me." I saw the small, cat-like girl follow Latvia and the bespectacled girl follow Estonia. That left me with the girl in the miniskirt. I silently prayed to all the gods I could think of that these girls would have the best of luck. They'd need it, especially with Russia.

-time skip blah blah blah—

Akuma's POV

After "orientation" I was led to the (boring) bedroom I shared with "Estonia" and "Lithuania". Yes, all three of us would have to sleep in one room. Well, if the Baltics can handle it, I guess I can. The other two were already sitting on the bed.

"So, do you have a list of chores, Latvia?" Tempest asked me. We had been instructed to call each other by our country names instead of our usual ones.

"Well, yes. I have most of the cleaning, housework, and stuff. You?" I replied.

"I have to do the cooking and shopping. I have to get a ton of vodka, plus whatever food we need. We'll need lots of cabbage," Tempest said. Rrgh, she got the easy stuff.

"Cabbage wrapped in cabbage," Autumn added.

"With a side of cabbage," Tempest shot back.

"And vodka," I added. The others stared at me.

"Combo breaker!" Autumn exclaimed. The randomness of us being us was cut off by the doorbell ringing. We all ran for the door, occasionally going the wrong way. The house was huge, okay? Autumn opened the door and there stood Poland, in all his miniskirt-wearing glory.

"Liet! Are you, like, ready to go shopping? Wait….you're a gi…gir…..g-g-g…" Poland apparently couldn't say the word "girl". Weird, considering he practically is one.

"Who is at the door, Latvia?" someone with a thick Russian accent said from the hallway. Autumn hid behind Tempest as everyone's favorite scarf-wearing terror walked into the room.

"Where are my Baltics?" Russia asked, getting way too close to Autumn. It was like he could pick out the weakest in any group. Tempest took a few deep breaths, trying to control herself. That girl has anger issues. Like, kill-someone-with-a-torture-device-that-hasn't-been-invented-yet anger issues.

"W-we are t-the Baltics," Autumn stammered, nervously adjusting her glasses.

Russia looked momentarily stunned. His shocked expression slowly changed to a sly smile. "Well, in that case, become one, da?"

I stared at him. "No, you become one with me, da." Tempest looked mad, and when Tempest is angry, shiz gets real.

"Hey! Lithuania!" Autumn said. I noticed she was sparkling slightly. Oh crap, she's been Estonia for five minutes and she's already sparkling? "Poland looks like he's about to have a heart attack. Why don't you go and make sure he's okay. Besides, if you're wearing a miniskirt in Russia, you're gonna have a bad time." Tempest waved and walked out the door, half leading, half dragging Poland along with her.

"Latvia, Russia, become one somewhere else, please. I have some work to do, and by work I mean video games," Autumn added as soon as Tempest closed the door. She left and Russia led me to his room. This was going to be_ fun._

**A/N: Akuma and Tempest helped me a lot with this. :3**

**Up next: Estonia + Computer = HALP**


	3. Fun with Hetabook

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia, Facebook, or you. All I own is my OC Autumn.**

_Latvia's POV_

I may have been in another universe, but I was still scared Russia would find me. We were in New York City, which is in America, and it was terrifying. Cars everywhere, tall buildings, and so many PEOPLE! There really aren't cities like that in Latvia.

We had gotten a room in one of the tall buildings. The view was amazing, and all the people down below looked like ants!

"Estonia! Isn't the view amazing?" I asked my brother, who was setting up computer equipment. "Aww, don't tell me you're going to spend all your time here playing on your computer!"

"I'm not playing," Estonia replied, "I just need to keep an eye on the girls. Especially…what's your replacement's name again?"

"Akuma." He suddenly looked worried. "What's wrong, Eduard?"

"I must have switched up the lists!" he was clearly panicking now. "I made two lists, one of good replacements, and another of rejects. Those three were on the reject list!"

I was very confused now. "Why, Estonia? They seem nice enough."

"Well, they aren't exactly sane, Latvia. Akuma could be scarier than Russia if she wanted to, Tempest can go insane when she gets angry, and Autumn can think of ways to torment people in many, many ways. All three of them are also very perverted, and to top it all off, they're American!"

_Tempest's POV_

I walked into Russia's house, loaded with shopping bags, and the house was silent. Most people wouldn't pay any attention to that, but with my friends, silence was very, very bad. I heard a clicking sound in one room, and found Autumn on the computer.

"Hey! Autumn! What are you doing?" I asked her.

"Oh, you know, seeing what Estonia does on his computer," Autumn said, stifling a giggle. Tempest facepalmed.

"How much porn did you find?"

"Over half of his history is porn websites, how's that? Oh, and I got onto his Hetabook account. It's kind of like Facebook, but for countries. The games are WAY better," Autumn clicked something. "Recently, I've become rather popular. I guess it's because female countries are uncommon."

"That's cool!" I replied. "Can I read some of your statuses?"

"Sure!" Autumn replied, laughing. She showed me the computer

Eduard von Bock: I am now attempting to learn Estonian. All I have learned is "twelve months" is "kaksteist kuud." Say that three times, and you will understand.

Francis Bonnefoy: Ohonhonhon, do they?

Eduard von Bock: I think you'd know better than I would.

Alfred F. Jones: Apply cold water to that BURN!

Francis Bonnefoy: Would you like to find out?

Gilbert Beilschmidt: i alrdy no

Francis Bonnefoy: Wasn't asking you, Prussia!

Gilbert Beilschmidt: Hello, this is Germany. I am taking mein bruder's phone away because he is drunk. Goodbye.

Matthias Kohler: 8 w4n6 2!

Eduard von Bock: English please?

Santa Claus: I went too

Eduard von Bock: I found Finland!

I was confused. Given the time period, this level of technology was impossible, right? "This is what you were doing all day?"

"Pretty cool, huh?" Autumn adjusted her glasses and sparkled. I think she is getting way too into this role.

"That modern technology is available in the time of the Soviet Union? Heck. Yes," I replied, being the history nerd that I am.

"Only to countries," Autumn added. "You know, speaking of the Soviet Union, I haven't seen Russia all day."

As if on cue, the tall Russian walked in with Akuma in his arms. She had several light scratches and what looked like bite wounds.

"What did you do to her?!" I demanded.

"She became one with me," Russia answered nonchalantly. Rage boiled inside of me as he spoke.

"Autumn, I won't be able to control myself very long," I warned. She tried to drag Akuma away, but she was too weak.

"Russia, prepare to die," I said, all control burned away by anger. I didn't care that Autumn was unable to get Akuma out. All that mattered was that everyone must die.

**A/N: Tempest has issues. **


	4. When Tempest snaps

**I was so late updating that busy won't cut it. In reality, I'm lazy. Sorry!**

**Chapter 4: When Lithuania Snaps**

_Autumn's POV_

I love small miracles, such as Akuma waking up before Tempest kills everyone. Well, we still had two problems: Tempest was trying to kill everyone and Russia's sisters had decided to drop by. Somehow, this ended up with all of us in Russia's room with Tempest hacking at the door with…a…blender?

"Okay, does anyone have an idea?" Russia inquired nervously as he glanced warily at Belarus.

"We could jump out the window," I suggested. Russia shrugged and moved toward the open window.

"VODKAAAAAAAA!" He cried as he plummeted to the snow-laden ground. I kept my eyes on the bedroom door, which was quickly being massacred by the modified blender Tempest wielded.

"Big Brotheeeeeeeeeeer!" Belarus yelled, following Russia to the ground.

"Belarus! Don't hurt Ivan!" Ukraine leaned out the window, but her…ah…top-heaviness caused her to fall through it. Akuma jumped too, landing on top of Ukraine.

"Perhaps this wasn't the best idea…"I thought as I too prepared to jump. I leaned to the side to avoid hitting the others. After I jumped, I realized that snow hides objects very well, particularly large rocks.

_Akuma's POV_

I winced in sympathy as I saw Autumn fall head first onto a rock, but not before noticing Tempest opening the door.

"Thank you, Big Brother, for breaking my fall!" I heard Belarus say.

"Thank you for breaking the rest of me," Russia replied sarcastically.

"Oh! Found you!" Tempest exclaimed. "Now you die!"

Well, that made me want to run. However, my legs hurt too much to get up (both from falling and…other activities).

"Autumn!" I screamed. "Get your ass over here and help me!"

"Well, well, well," a new voice from the sky interjected. "What have we here?" I looked up to see Finland landing in the yard, sniper rifle at the ready.

"Do you not see the madwoman with a blender coming toward us?!" I said angrily.

"Okay, okay, I get it," Finland replied. "Everyone get in the sleigh."

"Thank you! Russia exclaimed as Ukraine and Belarus helped him in. I had to drag Autumn into the sleigh. When we were all in, the sleigh sped into the sky, leaving the crazed Tempest with no one to harm.


	5. Omake: Abandon Ship!

**This chapter is based on a conversation I had with Hawkheart256 (the real Akuma). Enjoy the omake goodness!**

Ch.5: Abandon Ship!

_Akuma's POV_

Why the hell am I doing this? I'm just sitting in Autumn's office thingy as she plays computer and blares obnoxious J-pop out of _every damn speaker_.

"What are you doing, Autumn?" I ask. "And does the music need to be so loud?"

"I am reading fanfiction, and yes it does, because I said so," she replies in all her annoying sparkliness.

"Yaoi lemons again?"

"You know me so well." Oh, Autumn and her yaoi. Considering her addiction, Estonia and his icky browser history pale in comparison.

"What pairing?" I ask. "GerIta? UsUk? GiriPan?"

"EstLat," she answers nonchalantly as I try not to laugh.

"Really? What's that? Some sort of hipster pairing?" I know what it is, I just want her to see that this is _not_ the time or place for _this _pairing.

"Well, I guess it is. It's Estonia and Latvi…OH MY GOD!" She scurries under her desk to sulk in her emo corner. "Dammit…" she whispers, "I've ruined my own OTP."

_Estonia's POV_

Of all the things Autumn could have done, she had to use _my_ computer to read stories about such a horrible pairing.

"What the heck is a lemon?" Lithuania asks me.

"Umm…it's…it's porn…" I stutter.

"How on earth do you know this?" he adds, his eyebrows arched knowingly.

"The Internet…"

"What's EstLat?" Latvia asks from across the room.

"Um…you and I being paired…romantically…" I manage, blushing _way_ more than I should be.

"And how do you know _this_ fact, Estonia?" Lithuania inquires with the same knowing smirk.

"I'm just going to assume that you think I'm gay," I mutter. "Let me remind you of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth."

"It's not like that!" Lithuania shrieks. "I was forced to marry Poland, I swear!"

"So…Autumn was reading dirty fanfiction of us, Eesti?" Latvia interrupts, obliviously eating a hot dog.

"Exactly," I reply, my eyes widening as I realize what he's eating.

"What's your opinion on this, I wonder?" Lithuania asked all too sweetly.

"Well, first of all, I'm still not gay. Second of all, this is a terrible time for Latvia to be eating a hot dog!"

**A/N: I had way too much fun writing this…*shot***


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